What Goes Bump

I have a terrible habit. A horrible, terrible habit. When parking, I often tap a vehicle - sometimes the one in front, other days, the back, on particularly confusing days, both. Very sad. Well, recently one of my wee nightmares came true: there was someone in the vehicle I was..tip, tap, tapping. Bonk! "Hmmmm, harder than usual....misjudged the distance...is that a head I see..oh shite, it is..".

I felt awkward, sheepishly waved, paused, thought better of it, hoofed open the door, stepped out, looked at the SUV behind me, and mouthed "I'm sorry", and the woman behind the wheel looked friendly and awkward on my behalf, and all was good.

Two things wound out from my brain. First: fucking excellent. This is exactly how it should be. Bit of a dumbass, sincere apologies, accepted, and...moving on. Second: if this had been an SUV with rims, and mildly retarded tattooed moron behind the wheel, the process and experience would have been a total opportunity for huge heaping piles of shite smeared across the day.

The moron woud have popped his/her head out the window and started woofing and barking his/her conviction that I had insulted them - distracted by the flashing of their rims and the pretty pictures adorning their skin, attached to the pulsing patterns of their psychosis, they could and would not be able to slow down their manic fever to pause and realize there was no ill intent.